FARO Academy

Dare to be an unmarried adult in the United States and you’ll pay the price with higher taxes, higher insurance premiums and institutional discrimination.

There’s been so much in the news lately about same-sex marriage and the LGBT fight for equal rights; and included in those rights, the hundreds of perks and benefits — many financial — that are readily available to those who’ve said “I do” to each other and the State.

Who wouldn’t want those perks, especially in this crummy economy? When you enter into the legal partnership contract known as marriage, you pay less for car insurance, enjoy huge income tax savings, are allowed to pool your social security benefits and have access to each other’s health insurance — not to mention earn the seal of social approval that comes when you do what you’re supposed to do when you grow up: get hitched.

Clearly, somebody wants you married. Even a lab rat running a maze would have no problem seeing which path offered the least resistance and the biggest rewards.

But what if you’re single? Maybe you don’t like being single, but you are. Does that mean you should pay extra and be taxed more? Maybe you’re the independent type who thrives as a party of one; should you sacrifice your single status for a tax break or affordable health insurance? Should a person who isn’t married struggle more than someone who’s on their third marriage and therefore able to access the full measure of rights, perks and privileges that comes with a wedding license?

I was talking to a good friend of mine, a man who is divorced. He’s had the same job for 25 years, gets his W-2 every year, and even though 35 percent of his income is taken out of his check, he still ends up owing a few grand more come April 15. The upside is that he has “Cadillac” group health insurance that runs around $300 a year, no deductible and $5 co-pays.

Since he makes a lot more money than me, if we were to get married and file a joint tax return, I could leverage my business expenses against his income and we’d get a huge refund. I would have immediate access to his health insurance plan and could stop spending $12,000 a year for my individual policy that has a $1,200 deductible and $40 co-pays. We could insure both of our cars for what it now costs us to insure one. If either of us died before the other, the Social Security we’ve both been paying our entire lives would go to the surviving spouse, not back into government coffers as it will when you’re single, with not so much as a funeral benefit.

These things are just the tip of the iceberg — but they are clearly significant examples of how it pays to be married in this country. Sign a marriage license with the State and you too will receive all the benefits and advantages that go to the good citizens who behave properly and keep things simpler for big institutions to box up and manage.

Face it, the way things are now, if you’re not married, you’re getting screwed and you will continue to get screwed until you finally give in and do what the status quo says is the right thing.

So isn’t it ironic that 50 percent of the population is single and that that number is growing in a singular direction?

It appears we’re not so eager to sign on the dotted line, despite all the incentives to do so. A lot of us don’t want to marry someone just to get the goodies, don’t want to take the risk of losing what we have to community property, haven’t found a suitable partner, or simply prefer to follow our own singular path, despite the high price.

It’s neither a romantic issue nor a religious issue. It’s a legal issue. I don’t think most gay people get married because they want a church wedding officiated by a pastor. Religions that accept same-sex marriage are already conducting those ceremonies, without the legalities, and anyone can throw a big party with a fancy cake. I think the reason same-sex couples are fighting for the right to get married is because they want to have the same civil rights as married heterosexuals, including legal recognition and equal access to all the practical benefits that marriage provides.

Well, we single people want our civil rights too. And yet how often do we raise our collective voice and demand reform?

I believe we stay silent because too many of us see ourselves as “not married yet” or “in between marriages” or “in a relationship” and therefore not really single. We think the higher price we pay is temporary despite the statistical fact that people spend more of their adult life single than married.

Sadly, too many of us are unwilling to define ourselves as single even though, in a legal sense, we are. We acquiesce to unfair treatment on the basis of our marital status and will continue to do so until we’re willing to face the fact that being single means a lot more than whether or not we have a date on Saturday night.

Isn’t it time we finally stood together and fought for our singular rights?